


My Hero, Hoshi

by crisiskris



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Challenge In a Can, Challenge Response, Crash Landing, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 13:01:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13435254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crisiskris/pseuds/crisiskris
Summary: Hoshi saves the day.





	My Hero, Hoshi

**Author's Note:**

> ST: Enterprise Challenge in a Can: Cutler, Rise, Helm. 
> 
> Written to take place early in the show, before Hoshi finds her mojo, but after Shuttlepod One.

Ensign Hoshi Sato sighed, quashing the butterflies in her stomach that were threatening to turn into bats.  She forced herself to take a few long, deep breaths as she gathered her equipment.  Glancing at the clock – just over an hour to go – she wondered for the umpteenth time how she’d managed to get herself into a position like this, one that involved so many of the things she feared: space, small shuttle pods, strange aliens…

She liked languages.  She was good at languages.  She loved the logical, mathematical syntax of languages, loved the patterns, the commonalities that were present from culture to culture.  And she loved the musical, rhythmic irregularities of languages; the creative developments that could make one language take on a hundred dissimilar forms, depending on what neighbourhood you were born into.  She loved the organization, the chaos, she loved everything about words. 

She did not like, however, being the only one on the entire ship capable of picking up on new languages.  She did not like it because it meant she had to go on away missions like this one, had to be in the front line, confronting potentially hostile species, and trying to communicate with them.  Even the friendliest of species could turn on them if they were offended.  She did not like the thought of what could happen to her – or especially to her friends – if she really screwed up.  Hoshi shuddered, and then firmly pushed the thought away, zipping up her equipment bag. 

She sighed again, glancing at the clock.  52 minutes to go.  Why did the Captain always give them so much warning before these away missions?  Why couldn’t he just come tell her right before she had to leave?  Then, at least, she wouldn’t have to deal with the anticipation.

“Cutler to Sato,” her comm line chirped, interrupting her thoughts.  Hoshi sighed, but this time with annoyance.  Then there was Cutler.

“Go ahead, Liz,” she replied, keying her console.

“Are you ready?” Cutler began, and then continued before Hoshi even had a chance to speak.  “I am so excited about this mission.  I can’t believe we get to go!”  The woman’s enthusiastic chattering continued, but Hoshi wasn’t really listening.  She was tapping her slender fingers against the side of the console, wishing the other woman would take her zest for adventure somewhere else – somewhere far, far away from Hoshi.  It wasn’t so much that there was something wrong with enjoying your job, she mused, but Cutler had a zeal for potentially dangerous situations, and was almost desperate in her eagerness to join away missions.  It only served to heighten Hoshi’s sense of isolation: didn’t _anyone_ get as scared as she did?

“And,” Cutler’s voice continued, taking on a conspiratorial tone, “We’re going to be alone with Commander Tucker!”  Ah, yes, the Commander Tucker thing.  Lately, Elizabeth Cutler had been a bit obsessed with the southern engineer.  Not that she was the only one: Commander Tucker’s easy-going attitude and his flirtatious nature made it easy for women to think of him in romantic terms.  Hoshi, on the other hand, was not given to romantic musings.   Not that she had anything against the Commander himself, but since arriving on the Enterprise, she just hadn’t found herself in the mood to think about relationships; she was still trying to find her ‘space legs’, and didn’t have much time to concentrate on anything else.

“Hosh?  Hoshi, you there?”  Cutler sounded a bit miffed.  Hoshi blinked, bringing herself back to the conversation.

“Yeah.  Yeah, sorry, Liz.  I was just lost in thought.”  She heard the other woman suppress an impatient sigh.

“I asked if you were excited about going on the mission.”  Hoshi smothered about a dozen sarcastic responses.

“Yeah, it’s going to be great,” she replied dully.  “Sato out.”  She sighed, turning back to her equipment bag.  “No more terrified screaming on away missions,” she reminded herself, glancing at the clock once more.  47 minutes to go.

 ***

The shuttle bay was a zoo when Hoshi arrived.  What seemed like an ocean of engineers greeted her as she picked her way to the shuttle pod.  Some were carrying equipment, others were working on modifications to the shuttle, and still others were just hanging around, trying to look useful and important.  Away team hopefuls, she thought to herself, wishing one of them were a linguist so she could give them her spot.  She spied Commander Tucker near the shuttle pod hatch; he was alternating between calling out orders, packing equipment, and answering an endless stream of questions from Cutler as patiently as he could.  The entomologist was right at his heels, like a puppy.  Spying Hoshi, he broke into a grin, but she could tell it was a little forced.  The engineer looked downright harried. 

“Hey, Hoshi,” he called.  “That all ya got?”  He strode over to her and slipped the bulky equipment bag from her shoulder and onto his own, earning her an envious stare from Cutler.  Tucker leaned in confidentially.

“D’ya think you could distract her for a few minutes so I could get some work done?” He whispered.  Hoshi sighed, and he looked at her pleadingly.  “Please, Hosh?  We’re already behind.  She’s gettin’ in my way.”  The linguist finally nodded, unhappy.  “You’re a doll,” he hold her, patting her arm as he walked away to deposit her bag in the shuttle.

Hoshi followed, stopping with shock when she saw the inside of the shuttle.  “You call this packing?” she asked incredulously, staring at the piles of equipment that covered the floor.  “Hey, Liz, come help me sort all this junk out.”  Cutler tore her eyes from the Commander and came over reluctantly.

 “What’re you callin’ junk?” Tucker called back, but when their eyes met, Hoshi decided that what he was really saying was ‘thank you thank you thank you!’  She laughed.

 ***

By the time they’d organized everything, they were twenty minutes behind schedule, and Hoshi was fielding questions from the bridge regarding their status.

“The Captain would like to know what is delaying you, Ensign,” T’Pol’s voice filtered down to them sternly.  Hoshi looked up at Tucker questioningly.

“Tell her that the engineering department decided to have an orgy in her honor,” Tucker replied.  Cutler giggled.  Hoshi just snorted.

“I am not saying that to T’Pol,” she replied, just as the Vulcan’s voice came back through the calm.

“Ensign, is there a problem?” She asked.  Tucker shook his head.

“No, ma’am,” he replied vehemently, drawling out the words and grinning like the devil.  “We had some trouble modifying the shuttle pod to work with their grav-locks, but we’re ready to go now.  We’ll be launching momentarily.” 

“Good.  I will inform the Captain.”  A few seconds later, Archer’s voice came through to them.

“Let us know when you’ve docked with the Makkleik.  Have fun – and be careful.” 

“Yes, dad,” Tucker replied, sliding behind the helm.  He turned to glance at the Ensigns behind him.  “Ready, ladies?”

 ***

The flight had been rather uneventful; Hoshi was terribly glad.  Tucker lay in a course, then leaned back from the controls, closing his eyes. “Tired, Commander?” Hoshi asked.  Tucker slid one eye open, glancing back at her.

“Exhausted,” he admitted.  “We had a lot of preparation to do for this job.  I’ve been up all night.” 

 “What can we expect when we reach the Makkleik, Commander?”  Cutler asked.  He grimaced slightly at the thought of their destination.

 “Well, you’re going to be learning as much about them as you can.  I’m going to be upgrading their engines, as per our trade agreement, and Hoshi’ll be runnin’ back ‘n’ forth between us, playing translator.” 

“They seem like a fascinating species,” the entomologist commented.  “They have a soft exoskeleton, but protective shell casings make them impervious to many kinds of attack.  I wonder how they reproduce.”  Tucker shuddered.

“They’re beetles,” he replied disgustedly, unable to help himself. “Big, giant, talkin’ beetles.”  Hoshi laughed.

“Scared of bugs, Commander?” She teased, keeping her voice low enough that Cutler couldn’t hear her.  Tucker just shuddered some more.

Suddenly, Hoshi felt herself jerk in her seat.  Sympathetic shuddering?  She glanced up just in time to see her crewmates thrown violently to the left, then felt herself slipping that direction as well.  Hoshi struggled to regain her seat, strapping herself in.

“What’s happening?” Cutler cried.  Tucker’s hands flew across the console as he struggled to bring the shuttle under control

“Damn – didn’t think of that,” he muttered, ignoring the Ensign.  “Hoshi, open a channel to Enterprise.”

“Hoshi to Enterprise,” she complied immediately.  The Captain’s voice came back, faintly worried. 

“Enterprise here.  Everything okay?” Hoshi hesitated.

“Commander?”  She asked softly.  He cursed again, under his breath, and then raised his voice.

“Captain, the grav-lock modifications we made are working a little too well.  We’ve been caught in the gravitational field of an asteroid, and I can’t pull us out.  We’re gonna have to land and take it from there.”

“Can you get the shuttle down safely?”

“Think so.”  Tucker’s brow was furrowed in concentration. 

“Understood.”  Catching the tone in his friend’s voice, Archer decided to cut communication short.  “Contact us when you’re on the surface.”

“Aye, sir, Tucker out.”  Hoshi killed the comm link, and then turned to the Commander.

“What can I do?” She asked, her heart pounding painfully in her chest.

“Hold on,” Tucker replied grimly.  “We’re going down.”

 ***

The first thing Hoshi was aware of when she woke was a sharp pain in her left arm.  She wiggled her fingers cautiously, not wanting to open her eyes to see what was causing the pain.  Finally, she decided that not knowing was worse than knowing, so she opened them, blinking in the flickering light.  She turned with a groan and saw a deep gash across her forearm, blood soaking through the torn uniform.  Experimentally, she shifted her weight around, and happily decided that nothing was broken.  She undid her safety belt and stood up slowly, wrapping her right hand around the wound to stop the bleeding.

Equipment had flown everywhere and lay in various states of disarray and disrepair.  Some pieces seemed fine, and others were shattered.  Emergency lighting was on, and several of the consoles had blown.  Hoshi gasped, spying Cutler lying unconscious on the floor.  She’d obviously neglected to put her safety belt on.  Walking over to her, Hoshi saw blood matting the other woman’s hair.

“Liz, Liz.”  She repeated, shaking her friend’s shoulder.  “Wake up.”  Cutler groaned.  Her eyes flickered open, then closed again.  “Wake up, Liz, come on.”  Another groan startled her, and she whipped around to see Commander Tucker.  He was thrown back in his seat, his body limp.  His face was full of blood; it ran into his hair, staining the blond locks red.  Hoshi moved over to him and knelt anxiously at his side.  He had strapped himself in, but the helm console had exploded – she couldn’t tell whether or not he was badly hurt.  “Commander?” She asked quietly.  His hands twitched.

“Report,” he croaked, struggling to sit forward.  Hoshi put her hands against his back, easing him up.  From the sharp gasp that escaped him, she surmised that he’d bruised, if not broken, a few ribs.  Once he was sitting, she concentrated on cleaning his face gently with her sleeve, trying to get the blood out of his eyes, as she relayed what she knew.

“Several consoles are blown, but emergency lighting came on, so we have power.  Cutler wasn’t wearing her belt and she got thrown around.  She has a concussion, I think. I haven’t been able to wake her.”

 “Communications?”  Hoshi checked.

“Still on.  I’m sending a message to Enterprise saying we’ve sustained damage and are still assessing it, that we’ll follow up soon.”

“Good.”  He brushed her hands away, rubbing his eyes.  “Helm?”  Hoshi shook her head.

“Down.”  Tucker sighed, and then drew in a breath sharply as a horrific thought hit him.  Hoshi saw the panicked look flit across his face and touched his arm gently.  “I’ve already checked, sir.  We have plenty of air.”  Tucker let his breath out slowly, relieved.

 “Okay – go check on Cutler; see if you can wake her.  I’m going to send a full damage report to Enterprise and then get to work.”  He undid his safety belt and struggled to his feet.  Hoshi moved to help him, concerned, but he waved her away.  “It’s okay, Hoshi, I’m alright,” he said, and then caught her eyes briefly.  “Good work, Ensign.”

 ***

Hoshi finally got Cutler to wake up, but she wasn’t much use to them.  Pale and drawn, Cutler didn’t have the strength to even chatter.  Her eyes were full of fear.

“Hey,” Hoshi said softly, brushing back the other woman’s hair.  “You’re going to be fine, okay?”  Cutler nodded uncertainly. “Just try to stay awake.  I’m going to help Commander Tucker.” 

She stood and walked the few steps to the Commander’s side.  He’d managed to get main power back online, but the helm was still out.  “We’ve got plenty of juice, but we can’t steer,” he said in response to her unspoken question.  Hoshi nodded, regarding him silently, taking in the wounds on his face, the pallor underneath, and the stiffness in his stance as he tried to keep his ribs still.

“Commander,” she said finally, “you require medical attention.”  When he went to protest, she took a chance and cut him off.  “No, sir, I’m sorry, but you need to get patched up.”  He was silent, surprised.  Little Hoshi, interrupting a senior officer?  Hoshi saw his look and mistook it for disapproval.

“Sir – I mean – at least let me bind your ribs, Commander.  It’ll make it easier for you to work.”  Tucker slowly smiled.

“Yes, ma’am!”  He drawled.  Hoshi blushed and looked away.

“Sorry, sir.” She replied, feeling chastised, but Tucker just shook his head.

“No, no, don’t apologize, Hoshi.  You’re absolutely right.”  He let her lead him to a seat, watching her as she rummaged for a medical kit. 

“You’ll need to take your shirt off, Commander,” she said absently, digging through the kit’s contents.  Tucker tried to comply, shrugging out of his jacket.  When it came to his T-shirt, though, he had less luck.  At his gasp of pain, Hoshi looked up.  Stupid!  She scolded herself.  “Here, let me help you with that.”  She gently pulled the shirt up over his head, easing his arms out, then sat back and softly touched the vicious purple bruise that covered his left side.  Tucker gasped again, and pushed her hands away. 

Hoshi looked away, biting her lip.  God, she was such an idiot!  “Sorry,” she muttered, busying herself with the med kit. 

“Not your fault, Hosh.  Didn’t mean to push you.  It just hurt,” Hoshi nodded, and then held a hypospray to the blond man’s neck, trying not to stare down at his trim body.

“Here’s a painkiller.  That should help.” God, Cutler must be getting to me, she thought.  I’m practically ogling him.  She started to wrap his ribs, and he winced, shifting.  Hoshi apologized again.

“Quit sayin’ sorry,” he told her.  She looked up and found herself gazing into his soft blue eyes.  Without even realizing it, she stared at him as she bound his ribs, her brown eyes filling with compassion each time his face showed any pain.  Her fingers explored his smooth skin as she wrapped the bandage a final time and secured it.

“There, all finished,” she said, still looking into his eyes.

“Too bad,” he replied, smiling, and Hoshi suddenly realized what she had been doing.  She snapped her gaze away and stood up brusquely. 

“Well, Commander, how ‘bout that helm?”  Tucker grinned – there was that tone again.

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied, slowly getting to his feet.

 ***

“I saw that, you know,” Cutler hissed.  Hoshi looked up at the entomologist and sighed. 

“Saw what?” she asked, stacking another crate into the storage compartment.  Since there wasn’t anything she could really help Tucker with, she’d decided she could at least clean up.  She’d enlisted Cutler’s help as a way of keeping the other woman alert, but now she was beginning to regret it.  All she’d done so far was harp on about how Hoshi had treated the Commander.

“I saw you staring at him earlier.  I saw the way you touched him.”  Cutler’s voice dripped with envy.  Hoshi gaped at her.

“His ribs are broken!” she exclaimed, a little louder than she intended to.  Tucker glanced back and Hoshi lowered her voice hastily.  “I was binding them.”

“You were staring at him, Hoshi.  You looked like an idiot.”  Hoshi threw down the piece of equipment she was holding and it shattered.  Once more, she found herself biting back a hundred replies, most of them centering on Cutler’s own behavior, and who the bigger idiot was, and why.  Finally, she decided it wasn’t even worth it.

“Look, “she said instead, moving the now broken item from the ‘kind of works’ into the ‘definitely doesn’t work’ pile, “are you going to help me or not?”

 ***

“There!”  Tucker straightened up stiffly, but he had a satisfied grin on his face.  “Helm’s up.”  Hoshi looked over, nodding, and then frowned as she realized what he’d done.

“But sir – it looks like you’ve rerouted secondary power instead of fixing the relays.”  Tucker nodded, giving her a surprised, but approving look.

“Had to.  The relays are fried.  It’ll be fine, though.”  He nodded at his own work, and then turned to return his tools to their kit.

“As long as there isn’t a power surge when we take off,” Hoshi said dubiously. 

“Won’t matter.  It’ll blow the science station, but we won’t need long range sensors to make it back to Enterprise.”  Hoshi nodded, but she still looked dubious.  Tucker tried to draw her out by making conversation.  “Didn’t realize you had such a vast knowledge of shuttle pod design, Ensign,” he teased.  She shrugged.

“It’s a hobby of mine,” she replied.

“Really.”  Hoshi smiled conspiratorially. 

“The truth?” she whispered, leaning closer.

“Wouldn’t want anythin’ less,” he replied.  She was inches away.  He couldn’t stop himself from grinning.

“I’m terrified of shuttle pods.  I studied them obsessively so that if anything went wrong I would know what everyone was talking about.”  Tucker chuckled, shaking his head.

“Maybe I shoulda put you in charge of the repairs, darlin’,” he commented, and then abruptly snapped his mouth shut.  Hoshi looked up and caught the ‘oh, crap’ look in his eye.  Darlin’?  She decided to ignore it.

“I don’t think so, sir,” she replied, stressing the ‘sir’ just ever so slightly.  “I’m not that familiar with it!”  She smiled; her eyes letting him know it was alright, that she wasn’t offended.  Tucker looked relieved. 

“Well then,” he said, clapping his hands together and rubbing them briskly. “Let’s get outa here, shall we?”  He powered up the engines, reaching over to turn the thrusters on.  Nothing happened.  Cutler groaned.

“Now what?” she snapped.  Tucker threw her a dirty look.

“You just sit tight, Ensign,” he replied, “and use some sense - strap yourself in this time. It’s just a loose connection; I can fix it in a minute.”  Crawling under one of the consoles, he busied himself with the work, missing Cutler’s resentful glare.  In a moment the shuttle sputtered, then began to hum.

“Thrusters are online, sir,” Hoshi called.  Tucker nodded, heading back toward the helm.

“Good – hail Enterprise and…”

The comm officer interrupted him suddenly. “Sir, there’s a power surge in the secondary system.  Commander, look out!” Hoshi shouted desperately as electricity flashed through the vessel, suddenly realizing where Tucker was standing.  He realized it too, but too late.  The science station exploded in his face and he staggered back with a cry of pain, grasping his head.  Cutler screamed.

 ***

 “For crying out loud, make yourself useful, would ya, Liz?” Hoshi shot her companion a glare as she jumped out of her seat and moved toward the Commander.  He had staggered backward until his legs bumped a seat, and then he’d fallen into it.  “Put that damn fire out.”  Cutler’s eyes widened, but pulled herself together, scrambling for an extinguisher.  Hoshi stood before the Commander, gently but insistently pulling his hands away.

“Let me see, Commander, it’s okay, let me see,” she soothed, and finally he stopped struggling against her, so she could examine his face.  The skin around his eyes and forehead was burnt and blistering, oozing slightly.  Second degree burns, she thought, reaching for the med kit.  “I’m getting a little tired of having to put you back together again, Commander Humpty Dumpty,” she joked, but the Commander didn’t reply.  “Commander? Commander Tucker?”  He stared up at her blankly, his eyes rolling around in their sockets.

“Hoshi?” He whispered roughly, panic lacing his voice.  “I can’t see.  I can’t see.  Hosh, I can’t see.”  Fear flooded Hoshi’s mind, threatening to take over.  She pushed it away.  It came back.  She pushed it back down, hard.

“It’s okay, sir.  You’ve been burned pretty bad.  It’s only temporary.  Doc’ll have you fixed up in no time.”  In the meantime, she thought, this is the best I can do.  She sprayed the burns with a topical medicine to numb the pain, and then wrapped his eyes with a cool bandage.  Tucker nodded at her reassurance, trying to regain control of himself, but Hoshi could see his hands were shaking.  Cutler arrived at their side.

 “The fire’s out,” she reported, staring down at the Commander.  Fear flitted across her features, and she swallowed hard.  “What’s going on – is he… he…?”  Cutler’s voice shook, tears welling up in her eyes.

“Get a grip, Ensign, that’s an order,” Tucker called out.  “He is sitting right here and doesn’t like being talked about as if he weren’t.  Everything’s going to be fine.”

“But sir, how are we going to get out of here now?”  Cutler looked like she was about to wail like a child.  Hoshi stood up.

  “I’ll call Enterprise, sir,” she said quietly.  “I’m sure it won’t take them long to send another shuttle down.”  Tucker shook his head. 

“That won’t be necessary, Ensign.”  Both women startled, staring down at him.

“Sir?”

  
“You can fly us back, Hoshi.  You know enough about shuttles to do it.  And I know you’ve done it at least once.”

“Well, yes, sir, back in the academy, but sir, I’m… I can’t do this.  I’m a linguist.” 

Tucker shook his head again.  “I’ll talk you through.  You’ll be fine.  You can do this, Hoshi, you’re a Starfleet officer.”

“Starfleet wasn’t exactly my first career choice, sir.”  Hoshi’s mind raced.  What on earth was Tucker thinking?  She couldn’t fly the shuttle!  She looked over the blond man’s head and met Cutler’s eyes.  Liz doesn’t think I can do it either, she realized.  Suddenly she felt a rush of anger.  Well, that’s not very nice, she thought.  I’d believe in her.  Tucker’s hand grasping at her arm drew her back to the present.  He pulled her down to him and turned his head toward her.  Hoshi imagined his blue eyes meeting hers, the quiet strength of his gaze.

“Listen, I won’t order you to do this.  We can wait for another shuttle to come get us.  But I really believe that you’re capable, and I’d like to see you try.”  Cutler was shaking her head vehemently.  Hoshi felt the anger rising.  She nodded.

“Yes, sir!” She replied smartly, feeling a bit smug as Cutler’s mouth dropped open.  “Tell me what to do.”

 ***

Hoshi stared down at the maze of controls before her.   _Come on, remember_ , she urged her foggy brain.  _Don’t let him down._ Tucker sensed her hesitation.

“It’s the red one, on the upper right side of the console,” he told her.  She sighed, relieved.

 “Thrusters online.”  She glanced at the panel, bits of her training starting to come back to her.  “I’m retracting the landing gear.  We’re lifting.”  Tucker nodded.

“See?  Ya don’t even need me.”  She smiled, glancing at him.  He was looking in the general direction of her chest, and if she hadn’t known better, she would have sworn he was sneaking a peek at her expense.  Her grinned widened as she chastised her naughty mind.  I’m sure he’s trying to look at you supportively, she told herself, trying to shake the flush she felt at the thought of Commander Tucker leering at her body.  “Ensign?”  Hoshi’s eyebrows shot up.

“Hmm?  Sorry, sir, I was… concentrating.”  She bit her lip to keep from laughing.  “What were you saying?”

“I said just keep it nice and steady.  Don’t try to pick up speed.  Just concentrate on keeping her pointed straight.” 

“Aye, sir.”  Although she had remembered the layout of the helm console in front of her quite quickly, remembering how to actually fly was another story.  The shuttle jerked back and forth as she struggled to keep it on course.  Speed wasn’t even an option, and Hoshi ditched the cockiness quickly, using all her mental energy to keep the shuttle from drifting.  The comm crackled, making them all jump.

“Archer to shuttle pod one – what the heck is going on in there?  You forget how to fly, Trip?”  Tucker laughed.

“No sir,” he replied.  “Hoshi’s driving.”  There was an audible murmur over the comm link.

“I’m sorry, Commander, did you say Hoshi?” Archer repeated incredulously.  “You wanna explain that?”  Tucker grinned again.

“You’ll see,” was his only reply.  The Enterprise came into view; Hoshi breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m almost there, sir,” she called out, talking to Tucker and Archer at the same time.  “But, uh, I don’t really know how to land this thing.  I’m going to need a little help here.”

“Don’t worry, Ensign,” Malcolm Reed’s calm voice came back to her.  “Just hold her steady there, and we’ll do the rest.”  Hoshi shut down the thrusters and concentrated on keeping the shuttle from drifting.  There was a muffled thump against the hull of the shuttle, followed by another, and then she felt them being pulled toward the Enterprise.  “We’ve got you with the grappling hooks,” Malcolm confirmed.  “Just sit back and enjoy the ride.”

 ***

Shuttle bay was full of people again.  Archer, Reed and Dr. Phlox stood at the edge of the walkway, waiting for the shuttle pod door to open, and a medical team stood directly behind them.  Finally, the docking procedure was complete, and the shuttle powered down, the hatch hissing open momentarily.  Ensign Cutler stepped out, looking weary and feeling small. She trudged up the stairs, and would have left the bay completely unattended if Phlox had not caught a look at the gash in her head and said, “Ensign Cutler, sickbay, now.” A medical officer accompanied her, and the others turned their attention back to the pod.

Hoshi stood on the landing, and reached back in.  “Easy, Commander,” she said, placing one hand on Tucker’s arm and another on his back to guide him through the hatch.  “There’s a step here, and another step.”  Tucker stepped up each time she said “step”, his body stiff with pain.  Archer took in a sharp breath.

“Cripes, Trip, what happened to you?” He asked worriedly, forgetting his rank for a moment in his concern for his friend.  Tucker tried to laugh, but it hurt too much, and his forced grin became a grimace.

 “Things kept exploding,” he replied, grasping blindly for the handrail.  Hoshi took his hand and guided it over, looking up at the Captain.  His eyes widened when he realized his friend couldn’t see.  They stood there, frozen, for a moment, and then Malcolm shook his head and brushed by the Captain. 

“Here, I’ve got him, Hoshi,” he said, taking her place.  “There’s a step here, Commander.” The armoury officer helped his friend to the top, Hoshi following tiredly.  The medical team had set up a stretcher, and Malcolm and Archer eased Tucker onto it, then they exited.

“Come, my dear, let’s look at that arm,” Phlox said gently as Hoshi reached the top.  For a moment she just stared at the shuttle bay door where Tucker had disappeared.  Finally, she turned to the doctor.

“I am so tired,” she admitted.  Phlox smiled his warm smile.

“I’m sure you are.”  He caught her arm as a wave of dizziness passed over her.  “Let’s get you to sick bay, hmmm?”  She smiled.

“That was one wild ride, Doc,” she said faintly, leaning on the Denobulan for support.

“I’m sure it was.”

 ***

Sick bay was finally all but abandoned.  Cutler had been released long ago, Malcolm had returned to duty, and Phlox had finally convinced the Captain that his pacing up and down the floor was not going to cause Tucker’s sight to magically come back, so he might as well go back to his quarters and get some rest himself.  That left the doctor, the engineer, and Hoshi.  She’d been officially released the same time that Cutler was, but she’d hung back, pulling up a chair beside the Tucker’s bed while Phlox repaired the engineer’s ribs and treated his burns.  Now, Phlox had quietly moved to the other end of sick bay, sensing that the two wanted some privacy, and Hoshi reached up to hold Tucker’s hand.

“How are you feeling, sir?”  She asked.  Tucker sighed. 

“I can’t see,” he replied dully.  He’d been plastering a smile on his face since they’d returned to the Enterprise, trying to get Archer to stop worrying about him, but he was too tired to do that now.  Besides, Hoshi had heard the initial panic in his voice when he’d been blinded, and he knew he wouldn’t be fooling her.

“It’s just temporary, Commander,” she reassured him presently, even though they both knew that was uncertain.

“Please call me Trip,” he replied, squeezing her hand.  He looked as near to down at her as he could estimate.  “I really appreciate all your help back there.”  Hoshi laughed,

“What, you mean flying your shuttle and saving your butt?” She replied, and Trip laughed too.

“Hoshi, my hero!” he exclaimed.  “But really.  I meant that I was glad you were there when… when I was scared.”  She nodded.

“I’ve been scared before and you were there,” she replied, gently.  Trip tried to smile, but his heart wasn’t in it.  Hoshi sat back, studying the engineer’s face.  “Wanna talk about it?” She asked.  The blond man shrugged.

“What is there to say?” He responded.  “I’m an engineer.  I – well, who ever heard of a blind engineer?  And that’s just… I mean, God, Hosh – what if it’s permanent?  What if this is it, and I’ll never see a warp coil, or… or a bulk head or a sunrise again?  I mean what if I never see another sunrise?”  The words poured out of him in a rush, and he turned his head away, defeated.  Hoshi looked down on him, feeling powerless.  There was nothing she could do – and yet, she could imagine how he must feel.  What would she do if she’d lost her hearing?  The thought made her shudder.  Trip noticed, and reached over to pat her arm with his free hand, putting his fears on the back shelf for a moment.  “Hey,” he said, “rough ride, huh?  You okay?” 

Hoshi smiled and nodded, and then mentally kicked herself, because of course Tucker couldn’t see either action.  “I’m fine,” she replied, standing up.  “I’m just tired.  I’m gonna head back to my room and get some sleep.”  She made to leave, only to find that the engineer still had a strong grip on her hand.

“Hosh?”  He called, feeling small and helpless.  “Listen, I… well, thanks again.  I really mean it.”  Trip shook his head, struggling with the words.  How could he explain to her how grateful he was that it was her who saw him weak and afraid, rather than anybody else?  Somehow he knew that Hoshi would understand and wouldn’t judge him, but it was more than that.  She was also about the only person he could think of, except maybe Jon Archer, that he would have been comfortable with in that moment.  Finally, he gave up.  There weren’t really any words to explain how he was feeling.  He sighed, letting her hand go. 

Hoshi hesitated, and then patted his shoulder.  “Don’t worry, I understand,” she replied.  “I’ll come by and visit tomorrow – you’ll probably be bored silly by then!” 

With a small laugh, she turned away, and Tucker was left alone, lying in his own private darkness. 

 ***

Outside Sickbay, Hoshi nearly collided with Elizabeth Cutler.  The other ensign looked a little fresher than the last time they’d been together; her straight brown hair was a bit damp from a recent shower, and she’d changed into some clean clothes.  Hoshi smiled, feeling a bit awkward.  “Hi,” she said.  “Going to see Commander Tucker?”  Cutler shook her head.

“Uh – no, actually.  I was looking for you.  I stopped by your quarters, but you weren’t there, so I thought maybe you were still in Sickbay, since you were here when I left, and, well, here you are.”  Cutler shifted her weight nervously, aware that she was babbling.  Hoshi just looked at her, confused.

“So what’s up?” She asked.  Liz took a deep breath.

“Look, Hoshi, I just really wanted to apologize.  I acted like a jerk back there, and it was totally stupid.”  Hoshi shook her head dismissively, but Cutler cut her off before she could speak.  “No, just listen.  I really value our friendship.  And that’s why it was stupid – when I saw you helping out Commander Tucker, well… I got jealous.”  Hoshi gaped.

“Jealous?  Of me?”  She laughed.  “That’s ridiculous!”  Cutler shrugged.

“Well, you’re not the type to notice it, but the Commander likes you.”  Hoshi felt really confused now.

“What are you talking about, Liz?  He’s just friendly.  He likes everyone.”  Liz shook her head.

“No, he’s nice to everyone.  But he treats you like a friend.  I mean, Hoshi, he flirts with every woman on the ship, but he doesn’t flirt with you.  He talks to you with respect, and he seems really at ease in your company.  And I guess I just wish that I could be his friend, that he could be comfortable with me like that.  But I know that I get on his nerves, and I also know that our relationship is professional and that’s all it’s ever going to be.  So, that’s why I got jealous.”  She shook her head hastily.  “But it’s all silly anyway.  I just wanted to apologize.  I really enjoy our friendship and I’d hate for some dumb thing to get in the way.”  Hoshi nodded slowly, feeling a bit distracted.  Trip Tucker thought of her as a friend?  It sort of made sense…

“Thanks, Liz.  I appreciate it,” she replied absently.  Cutler nodded, and made to leave, but Hoshi, coming back to reality, touched her arm and stopped her.  “And hey, Liz… I’m glad you’re okay.  I was really scared.” 

“Me too.”  She gave her friend a quick hug.  “Well, I better get going here. I’ve got a lot of work to do before we head out again.”

“Head out again?”  Hoshi repeated.

  “Well, yeah, we still have a trade agreement with the Makkleik to fulfill,” giving Hoshi a ‘duh, silly’ look, she strode off down the hallway.  Hoshi felt her heart sink.  She had to get back in a shuttlecraft and go back out there?  Not for the first time, she felt as if she were in exactly the wrong place at the wrong time.  Sighing, she turned toward her quarters.  Maybe the Captain would take pity on her and send someone else.

 ***

“I just don’t think I can do it,” Hoshi heard herself say, pacing up and down in front of the bio bed.  She had come to Sickbay with the intent of being friendly and funny, to cheer Commander Tucker up, but the conversation had strayed to the still-impending mission.  Tucker shook his head.

“Why not?” he asked.  “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”  Hoshi stared at him, amazed.

“Nothing to be afraid of?  We all could have died back there.  As it stands, Cutler got bashed in the head and you ended up…” She trailed off, horrified at what she was about to say, but Tucker waved a dismissive hand.

“Blind, Hoshi.  The word is blind.  You can say it.  I won’t fall apart.”  She blushed.

“Sorry, sir.” 

“Never mind.”  He shifted in his bed so that he was sitting up, grunting a bit at the lingering pain in his chest from the broken ribs.  “Now, where were we?  Ah, yes, you were telling me how you were unwilling to face your fears and complete your mission” Trip’s voice was soft, teasing.  Hoshi sighed.

“Commander,” she pleaded, “It’s not so much about unwillingness.  It’s about ability.  I’m not… I’m not a very good Starfleet officer.  I don’t like adventure. I don’t like danger.”  He shook his head.

“Hoshi, you are one of the best officers I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with,” he replied.  She stopped pacing and turned to stare at him.

“Oh, come on,” she replied, disgusted with herself, but Tucker just held a hand out for silence.

“No, really.  You show remarkable clarity under pressure.  Your quick reflexes back on that shuttle pod meant that both Cutler and I had our injuries treated, that Enterprise was appraised of exactly what our situation was, and that the damage to the shuttle was assessed correctly.  That allowed me to do my job well, which meant that we could get home that much faster.  You have the ability.  What you lack is the confidence, that’s all.”  Hoshi shook her head.

“I appreciate your faith in me, sir, but I’m afraid I don’t share it.”  She sank down into a chair, feeling miserable.  The thought of getting back on a shuttle pod made her stomach flip.  She knew she could do her job when they got to the Makkleik ship; that wasn’t the problem.  She just couldn’t count on herself not to freak out and end up humiliated at the first bump the shuttle encountered.  “I’m just not cut out for space travel.”  Trip didn’t reply right away, and they sat in silence for a minute.  Then Hoshi stood up.  “I guess I better go get ready,” she said glumly. 

She was almost at the door when Trip called out, “wait!”  Hoshi turned.  “Come here for a minute.”  Suppressing a sigh, she returned to his side, sitting on the edge of the bed.  She knew Commander Tucker was just trying to make her feel better, but his efforts just made her feel worse – it was bad enough that she was a scaredy-cat.  Having to get comfort from someone who faced the possibility of never seeing again didn’t exactly improve her self esteem. 

“Commander?”  She asked when he didn’t speak for a moment.  He looked thoughtful, as though trying to work out exactly what he wanted to say, and how.  Finally, he opened his mouth.

“Do you know why I asked you to fly the shuttle back to Enterprise, Ensign?” He asked softly.  She shook her head.

“Because it was faster than waiting for someone to come get us?” She replied.  Tucker smiled.

“No.  It’s because you’ve gotten it into your head that you’re a linguist, and that’s all you are.  And in fact, you are much more than that.  You are a trained Starfleet officer, just as capable as anyone else on this ship.  You are a cool-headed, professional woman who knows how to spring into action.  You are a problem solver, and you’re also a compassionate, gentle, feeling person who genuinely cares for other people.  You are so many things, Hoshi.  I know I appreciate you – the whole you, all those aspects of you.  I just wanted you to appreciate them to.”  He finished by reaching clumsily for her hand and giving it a squeeze.  “I believe in you, Hoshi.”  She stared down at him, touched.

“Commander - Trip, I… thank you,” she replied. He smiled, taking a deep breath, as though he had something more to say – and then the comm chirped.

“Ensign Sato?”  T’Pol’s voice came over the comm.  Trip groaned and released Hoshi’s hand, falling back against the bed.

“Go ahead, Sub-commander,” Hoshi replied, standing, feeling flushed and flustered for some reason.

“Please report to Shuttle Bay two; we are ready for launch.”

“Acknowledged.”  She turned to Trip.  “Well, show time,” she commented lightly.  He nodded.

“Hey, listen, Hoshi – when you come back, maybe we can, I don’t know, grab some lunch or something together. I’d… I’d love to hear about the Makkleik, seeing as how I’m going to miss the whole thing.”  He looked a bit embarrassed as he stuttered over his words.  Hoshi chose to ignore it.

“See you soon, sir,” she replied ambiguously, then slipped out the door before he had a chance to say anything else. 

 ***

The trip to the alien ship was uneventful.  The engineering department had made further modifications to the grav locks so that they weren’t as sensitive to the pull of the asteroids, and Travis Mayweather had taken the further precaution of plotting a course that steered clear of the larger rocks, so there were no further problems.  On the way there, Hoshi tried to distract herself by conversing with the helmsman, who was happy just to be off the bridge and piloting something a little more manoeuvrable, Cutler, and Lieutenant Hess, who had come to make the engineering upgrades in Tucker’s place.  To be quite honest, Hoshi felt rather pleased with herself – she didn’t feel nearly as afraid as she usually did, and the butterflies in her stomach cooperated and kept still enough that they didn’t distract her when they made initial contact.

On the Makkleik ship, once the work started, she didn’t have time to think anyway.  The alien language was fascinating, based on a series of clicks and buzzes that reminded her of some Aborigine languages she had learned on earth, although the Makkleik’s vocal cords were capable of hundred of connotations that human voices simply could never reproduce, so they had to rely on the universal translator a lot more than on Hoshi herself.  She was quite proud to be able to comprehend the language fairly well by the end of it, however, and it kept more her more than occupied.  So it wasn’t until the voyage home, when everyone was worn out and no one felt very talkative, that Hoshi had time to think about Commander Tucker, and suddenly those butterflies were tearing around in her belly like they were caught in a hurricane.

Now why on earth would he ask her to tell him about the Makkleik, she wondered, remembering his initial reaction.  Big, giant, talking beetles, he’d said, shuddering.  Why would he want to hear about a race of sentient bugs over lunch?  She frowned, her brow furrowed.  And why was he stuttering?  She couldn’t remember every hearing the Commander stumble over his words like that.  Her mind drifted back to what Liz Cutler had said about the Commander ‘genuinely liking’ her.  But that couldn’t be right.  Hoshi shook her head, confused.  She wasn’t a stupid woman, and she had every reason to trust her gut instinct; it usually served her well.  But she didn’t like what her gut was telling her.  She had to be misinterpreting things.  The Commander couldn’t actually be, well, interested in her, could he? 

 Hoshi groaned inwardly.  Oh, great.  Just when things seemed to be going well for her, just when she felt like she had a handle on her fears and phobias, and that maybe just maybe this space thing was going to be alright, something had to come up and complicate matters.  Because she didn’t really feel the same way about him, did she?  A small smile traced her lips as she remembered the feel of his skin under her fingers, and the way that they had gazed into each other’s eyes in silence while she treated him.  There was no question that he was an attractive man, although she didn’t usually go for blonds.  But there were lots of attractive men in the universe, and that didn’t really mean anything.  True, he was a lot of fun… and he was very supportive.  But he was a senior officer.  It was his job to be supportive.  And the friendliness, that was just his nature.  She had to have this all wrong.  Trip Tucker was not interested in her, and she was not interested in Trip Tucker, and that’s all there was to it.  Wasn’t it?  Oh, this is horrible…

“Ensign?”  Hess’s voice hauled the comm officer out of her tortured thoughts.  She looked up and saw the older woman standing by the open hatch of the shuttle pod, smirking down at her.  “Are you planning on joining us?”

“What?  Oh, yes, sorry.  I was… thinking.”  Hoshi scrambled to her feet and followed the Lieutenant out the door and up the stairs, feeling foolish.  Hess just smiled.

“Hope you get it all sorted out,” she replied.  Hoshi started – how transparent had she been? 

Sighing, she left the Shuttle Bay and headed for her quarters.  Walking past the turn off toward Sick Bay, she paused, unsure.  Commander Tucker had wanted to see her when she got back… the young woman shook her head.  It hadn’t been an order, it had been a request.  This meant she was free to say no.  And right now, she didn’t really want to face up to the confusion she was feeling, and she certainly didn’t want to attempt a conversation with the source of that confusion.  Turning the other direction, she trudged toward her quarters.  A shower, some food, and some sleep, in that order, would help clear her head.  She hoped.

 ***

Unfortunately, escaping from her confusion proved to be more difficult than she thought.  Sitting in the mess hall, picking at her food, she heard a voice call her name, and looked up to see Malcolm guiding an uncertain Trip Tucker into the room.  “Yes, she is in here,” the armoury officer was saying, and to her dismay, he led the engineer right up to her table.  Guiding him to a chair, Malcolm flashed her a smile.  “Hi, Hoshi,” he said as Tucker got settled.

 “Hi,” she replied, smiling sickly, trying to cover her nervousness and failing miserably.  Malcolm caught the look and raised his eyebrows.  Very interesting – first Trip, babbling like an idiot all the way through their visit, returning again and again to the topic of the young comm officer, and then almost begging Malcolm to take him the mess hall, just to see if she was there, and now Hoshi, looking for all the world like she was going to bolt out of the room or faint from fear.  Something was definitely going on here.

“Well,” he said decisively.  “I see Travis is eating alone. I think I’ll join him,” He didn’t miss Hoshi’s panicked look.  Turning to the Commander, he finished, “Just give me a shout when you want to return to your quarters, sir.”  Trip nodded, and the British man left.  Sensing they were alone, the blond engineer turned to her.  She cleared her throat.

“So, uh, guess you’re sleeping in your own bed again, huh?” she said awkwardly.  What a stupid thing to say, she berated herself as he nodded.

“Yeah.  You didn’t think they were gonna leave me in Sick Bay forever, now, did ya?”  She smiled slightly, but couldn’t bring herself to laugh.  When he didn’t get a reaction out of her, Trip looked suddenly unsure.  “So,” he started casually, trying to ignore the lump in his throat.  His palms were sweating.  “I though we were gonna grab some lunch and you were gonna tell me about the beetle people.”  Hoshi shrugged.

“I – I didn’t think you’d be interested, sir,” she replied stiffly. Trip almost winced at the ‘sir’.

“Y’can call me Trip, Hoshi.  I’d rather it.”

“Yes, sir.”  This was not going well.  He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. 

 “Shuttle trip go okay?”  She nodded.  “Hoshi?”  Right, he couldn’t see her.

“Yeah, no problems.” 

“That’s good.”  They sat in silence for a moment.  Awkward, uncomfortable, horrible silence.  Then both of them opened their mouths at the same time.

“Look, Hoshi, I just wanted to say that…”

 “Commander, what’s going on here?”  They both stopped abruptly, and Hoshi laughed uncomfortable.  “You first,” 

“No, no, no, Hosh.  Ladies first.”  Tucker gestured toward her politely.  Hoshi took a deep breath, and then decided to just say it straight.

“Look, Commander, I’m a bit confused about… about your expectations.  Are you – well, are you – is this a date?”  What an idiot! She seethed at herself, staring at her hands.  She could feel heat rushing into her face and knew that she was blushing beat red.  She was actually grateful for a moment that Trip couldn’t see so he couldn’t witness her humiliation.  She sat back miserably, waiting for his response.  He said nothing, and finally she looked back up at him cautiously.

To her surprise, he was staring down at his hands, and his face was bright red too. “Hoshi, I…” he trailed off, cleared his throat, and then tried again.  “I really like you, Hoshi.  You’re a really great person, and I’d love to get to know you better.”  He took a deep breath, gathering some momentum.  “And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think you were attractive, but… I don’t have any expectations.  I just wanted to spend some time with you.” 

Hoshi smiled in spite of herself.  Her, attractive?  It was hard for her to accept.  Still… no one looked that embarrassed for no reason.  She regarded the man across from her thoughtfully; he was busy picking at his fingernails.  Could she trust him?  Was this for real?  Trip was one of the most honest people she’d ever met.  “I’d like to get to know you better, too, Command – Trip.  However, you have to admit this is a little awkward, you outranking me and all.”  He nodded seriously.

“I’ve been thinking about that too.  But I’d like to be your friend, Hoshi – if you think we can leave the ranks on the bridge?”  He held his breath unconsciously, waiting.  Hoshi felt something tight inside of her ease off, and her shoulders relaxed. 

“Friends sounds good, Trip,” she replied, and was rewarded with one of his big, goofy smiles.  He leaned back.

“So tell me about the horrible beetle people, Hosh.  I bet they had some kind a language, huh?” 

“Oh, you wouldn’t believe it, it was fascinating!” She exclaimed, and launched into a description of what she had learned from the Makkleik.  From across the room, Malcolm and Travis looked up from their dinners, watching their friends talk animatedly, occasionally laughing.

 “Aw, now that’s cute,” Travis commented, smirking.  Malcolm met his eyes and smiled back.

“Guess the Commander won’t be needing my help to get back to his quarters tonight,” he replied.

***

“Well, it’s time,” Phlox said cheerfully from behind his patient.  Tucker was sitting up in the biobed, his fingers drumming nervously on the side.  It had been three weeks since the shuttle pod incident, and he had spent the time in almost breathless anxiety.  His ribs were healing nicely, the burns on his face were almost faded, and all that remained was the bandage across his eyes, which the doctor had never removed.  In order for the eyes to heal, he had explained, they had to rest, which meant they couldn’t be strained.

Across the room, Archer, Malcolm, and Hoshi all stood, breathless themselves, waiting anxiously.  They all knew that engineering was the blond man’s passion.  He was the best engineer in the fleet, and he slept, ate, and breathed warp coils, for goodness sake.  No one wanted to voice the worry, but they all thought it: what would happen to the gregarious, fun-loving Trip Tucker if he couldn’t be an engineer?  It was too sad to think about.  Hoshi felt tears of fear prick her eyes, and she blinked them away, ordering herself not to cry.  You’re a Starfleet officer, she reminded herself, echoing the words of support Tucker had told her.  You’re capable and competent and you can keep it together to be here for your friend.  She took a deep breath, willing her anxiety to lessen. Captain Archer touched her arm briefly, and she looked up.  The same fears were in his eyes.  They were all in this together.

“Okay, then, Doc, let’s get this show on the road,” Tucker replied at length, and they all sucked in a deep breath.  Phlox slowly unwound the bandage.  Unable to stand the suspense, Hoshi fidgeted.  It seemed to take forever, but finally the last length came off.  Trip opened his raw eyes slowly, blinking furiously in the light.  His blue eyes watering, he looked around cautiously, saying nothing.

Archer broke first. “Well, Trip?  What do you see?” 

Tucker glanced around the room.  Everything was pretty blurry, and his eyes stung from the strain.  But slowly, things came into focus and he found what he was looking for. “I see my friends,” he replied happily, a huge smile threatening to split his face in two.  “You’re all kind a wavery, but I see you.  I can see you.”  He repeated the phrase a few times, as though trying to get the idea through his thick skull.  Everyone stood, frozen in place, for a moment, letting relief wash over them. 

Then, in a big rush, all three of them came running up to the bio bed, and Trip found him surrounded by congratulations, Archer pounding him on the back, Malcolm shaking his hand and saying, “I’m glad, Commander, I’m so very glad,” over and over again, trying and failing to keep a silly grin from crossing his fine features.  And then Hoshi was there, and she didn’t even hesitate, she just stepped up and enveloped the engineer in a big, warm hug. 

“I’m glad, too,” she whispered, squeezing his shoulders.  Trip hugged back, grinning into her hair.

“Listen, Hosh,” he replied.  “First nice, safe, M-class planet we find, I wanna take you down to watch the sun rise.”  She nodded, stepping back to look into his eyes for the first time in weeks.

“It’s a date,” she responded, smiling. “But only if I get to drive.”


End file.
